The most important and valuable tool that any therapist has is that of the therapeutic relationship. This means trust, value, understanding empathy and clear communication. In order to have these, the client must be sure that they can dig deep and discuss all of their problems with the knowledge that those things will be kept private.

There is no one size fits all in therapy. Creativity encompasses the ability to discover new and original ideas, connections, and solutions to problems. It’s a part of our drive as humans—fostering resilience, sparking joy, and providing opportunities for self-actualization.

Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering. Scientists have started to map the biological basis of compassion, suggesting its deep evolutionary purpose. This research has shown that when we feel compassion, our heart rate slows down, we secrete the “bonding hormone” oxytocin, and regions of the brain linked to empathy, caregiving, and feelings of pleasure light up, which often results in our wanting to approach and care for other people. In my therapy room, there is attention to not only a compassion for a client and others, there is also emphasis on self-compassion.

Acceptance Releases Suffering

The curious part about denying painful thoughts, emotions, and experiences is that denial does not make them “go away.” The pain will sit patiently and wait until you pull your head back out of the sand to face it. If pain does temporarily “disappear,” it often reemerges in another form until it is accepted and handled. While the idea of facing painful experiences is understandably frightening, meeting all aspects of your life with open eyes and open arms is the way to move through the pain.